Tiago's Jornal: Trying to not end myself

Memory Training Journals
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Hello there, my name is Tiago.
I discovered memory techniques a few months ago, and I was so amazed by them that I started studying everything in my life more deeply.

Right now, I’m pursuing a law degree in Brazil, and my next goal is to pass the OAB exam, which is required to become a lawyer.

I’ve been struggling with depression for a long time. Even though I managed to pass the first stage of the exam, I often feel like I have no motivation to do anything, not to eat healthy consistently, not to exercise, not to pray, not even to take care of myself in general.

At work, I feel completely stuck. I spend the whole day in front of the computer, just trying to be productive, but I usually leave without having completed a single task. It’s incredibly frustrating and only adds to the feeling that I’m not moving forward in any area of my life.

Recently, I saw some people here using journals to help push themselves to study, and I thought: why not try the same? So I’m going to start small, doing just a few things each day to build momentum.

Here are my current goals:

Avoid junk food completely
Meditadion for 10 minutes a day
Exercise at least 3 times a week
Study for at least 30 minutes a day
Complete at least 3 tasks from my work to-do list each day
Read 10 pages a day from any book

I’ve also been using a technique to “gamify” my life, where everything I do gives me XP (experience points). It used to help a lot, since visualizing things like a game makes them easier for me. But lately, it’s been really hard to keep going with even that.

Thank you for reading.

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Could you elaborate on this? What did the XP mean? What did you gain with it? Did you unlock new stuff and upgraded the game?

Your goals list is amazing and have some characteristics that made it a good list: easy to track, very healthy, and possible to adjust for progress (like maybe in a couple of months you feel 10 pages a day is easy and are craving more and add five more pages per day).

The only thing that I feel is missing is time bound: after x time, will you look back, check your progress and update your goals?

Let us know if you manage to keep it, which obstacles you face and your insights on how to improve!

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Welcome to the forum! I sorry you’re going through a tough time and wish you all the best!

My first reaction reading you is that you have very ambitious goals… If I imagine doing it for myself I don’t think I would manage it. At least not everything at once, and by building up to it, starting smaller.

For example coming back from the summer holidays I had lost a lot of good habits, including eating well and fitness.

But the first week I only addressed the food problem (because I can only deal with one thing at a time), this week I’m going back into exercise, and my goal for today is to do 10 pushups. Yes, it’s small but that way I’ll manage it. And yesterday my goal was “take out the gym mat so it will be ready to exercise”. It seems ridiculous to have a fitness goal where I basically don’t exercise at all, but that way I actually did it even if I came home very late and very tired. And today I just have to let myself fall on the mat to get started.

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XP means Experience Points. For each task completed, i earn XP.

I was using a Google Sheet where I track the tasks I want to do every day, like exercising, doing Anki, eating healthy meals, etc. I also keep track of penalties, like eating junk food or skipping exercise.

If i do something on penalities, i lost XP.

The last column is for “status,” where each amount of XP levels me up. If I reach the top level, it means I’ve reached my goal. It’s just a system I made for myself, nothing guarantees that reaching 50k XP will mean I’ve achieved the goal in real life, but it feels good to have a “finish line.”

I’ve adjusted the values and my levels a few times, and the way it is now seems more interesting.

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This is actually a good idea, maybe i will probably remove some of the itens and take just 2 ou 3 to start! Thank you!

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Your system looks like Habitica (it’s an gamification app for habits, where you amass xp, can level up, gain weapons, etc.)
It’s fascinating to me, probably because I’ve never managed to use time tracking/blocking for more than 2-3 weeks.
Mostly because after a while I notice that the time spend perfecting my system I could use to actually do the things I should do instead.
I constantly have to remind myself it’s better to do the things in a less efficient way, rather then never starting because I’m devising the perfect plan.

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17/09/2025

I went to bed late last night because of some tasks, and I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I picked up some tips here and decided to focus on fewer things at a time instead of trying to do everything at once.

Today, I managed to complete about five tasks from work, which made me very happy and productive.

I also studied for 45 minutes, which felt great, and I didn’t eat any junk food. If I still feel good later, I plan to read a few pages of a book.

Tomorrow i’m planing in memorize some things about bible with memory palaces.

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+1 On this.
I noticed when I try to change too much,I end up changing nothing.
When I started gym,that’s what I was always focused on,to go to the gym for an hour.
My uncle insisted that I go everyday for the first week.Even if I am not feeling good.Even if I just stroll around.
That really built itself into a habit.

Same for the diet.

I also feel that if you decide that you have control over how you feel,it works well.

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i personally solved my “diet” issues with multi days fasting. Right now as i am writing i am on my 3rd day of fasting and i’m feeling wide awake and productive. I wish i knew about it back in uni.

Cutting on calories simply does now work for me as it makes me more miserable. But cutting on junk food is always great so if you can do it reliably then it’s a very good thing :smiley:

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There’s a thing called “intermittent fasting” that i want to try. Basically your last meal of the day need to be around 8pm, and you gonna eat just after 12-16 hours later. So this gonna be around 12pm. Doing this you will have less meals in a day.

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Ah yes I tried it.
It was before I joined the gym.
I was running about 4km daily too.
I didn’t measure since we do not have a weighing machine at home,but it seems I did significantly reduce weight,given that it was exam holidays and when I went to the school the teacher said I looked sickly haha.
I would suggest resistance training along with it.
Since the frame will look scrawny otherwise.
Ofcourse unless someone is morbidly fat,in which case they might want to lose some weight first

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I does work well. I do it simply by not taking breakfast (well, most of the time, I’m not super strict). It’s the easiest way to implement it : I’m usually not hungry in the morning so it’s not much hardship to skip it, and it’s the most socially acceptable – some people don’t eat after 18.00 but it’s annoying when you share meals with other people, few people are finished with the evening meal at 18 (unless you’re Canadian).

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18/09/2025

Today I studied a little and managed to work a lot. I organized many things, so I’m happy. I couldn’t memorize anything with the memory app, but I’ll do it soon.

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There’s a related discussion and poll: Have you experimented with fasting or other calorie restriction? [POLL]

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Leia o nação dopamina.

Você provavelmente está viciado em hits de dopamina, você possui todos os sintomas de alguém hiperestimulado.

Quantas horas por dia você passa usando celular/computador?

Eu digo isso por experiência propria, me sentia exatamente como você descreveu. Faça uma teste de detox de estímulos por um mês e veja se você se sente melhor.

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23/09/2025

I couldn’t even get out of bed this weekend, ever since Friday. I only got up to eat and sleep. But today I woke up feeling really good, and I hope I can actually get something done. I did some research, and as BR.Alchemist mentioned, it’s probably too much stimulation and dopamine. I’m going to cut down as much as possible and try to stick with it for a month to see if I can improve.

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Pardon me for intruding. I’m curious about how much sunlight you are getting? I’m just thinking about your vitamin D levels and if they are okay.

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You can really improve, but well, that initial commitment is brutal, we tend to get hooked on bad habits quickly… you will have to resist for days without doing that addictive activity.

After that you have plenty of time and energy for other activities that require some effort.

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It’s true! The cravings I felt when I started this stimulus fast (aka dopamine fast) were even stronger than the ones I had when I quit smoking. The first few days are really terrible, but afterwards the level of energy, sleep quality, and focus are incredible.
Once you get through the withdrawal period, things get much better.

This happens because our brain maintains a delicate balance between pleasure and pain. Whenever you experience pleasure, the brain automatically compensates by tilting the scale toward pain, and the same is true the other way around. In moderation, this balance helps us enjoy life and stay motivated. But when we are constantly bombarded with excessive stimulation—like social media, junk food, or video games—the pleasure side is triggered so often that the brain pushes harder toward the pain side to restore balance. Over time, this makes us less satisfied, less motivated, and in constant need of more stimulation just to feel “normal.” That’s why periods of abstinence or discomfort can reset the system, lowering the need for constant dopamine spikes and restoring our ability to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

If you really want to try this, I strongly recommend downloading programs that block your phone apps—preferably paid ones, as a sign of commitment to the detox. Be sure to block everything that isn’t essential to your life: social media, YouTube on your phone, games, shopping apps, and so on.

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I actually did this for a couple of weeks and then removed them all. But I know I was weak, and I can’t let this happen ever again. I’m reinstalling them right now!

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