Lately i’ve been feeling overwhelmed by pretty much everything. I get annoyed when even my best friends talk to me. I get overwhelmed when i open a book even a book that i read when i was young. I feel bad when I lie but i do it over and over. I just feel irritated by everything and i dont know what to do anymore 
any tips?
3 Likes
I don’t know the answer, but I can write some things that often help me:
- Get away from social media, movies/tv/games, and the news for a while (3-7+ days). I don’t really use any social media except some YouTube, but I stop that if I am getting too overwhelmed. Too much computer/phone time, and especially too much social media, can be unhealthy. (See also Digital Minimalism: "Why We'll Look Back at Our Smartphones Like Cigarettes" and digital-minimalism )
- Get enough exercise. I walk a lot — anywhere from 10 to 60+ miles per week. Even a brisk two mile walk can be helpful. If there is another kind of exercise you like, that could work too. For other ideas that don’t require equipment, look up busydad training and Mark Lauren on YouTube.
- Get out into nature. If you live in a city, there are probably some parks around.
- Eat well. If I don’t eat healthily, it starts to catch up with me. If you don’t know how to cook, then that could be a new hobby to investigate. I’m often in a rush, so I try to plan out healthy things that are easy to make in advance.
- Read a book. A good book can pull you out of habitual ways of thinking and see things differently. There are many books on self-help, motivation, and productivity that might spark inspiration. Also check out The Great Courses on Audible and free lectures on YouTube for ideas.
- Get enough sleep. My brain doesn’t function well if I don’t do that. The walking during the day helps me sleep better.
- Take up a new hobby. If you aren’t sure of what to do or how to get started, browse around sites like Skillshare and Udemy for ideas. E.g., art, music, languages, writing.
- If you play an instrument, try picking it up for at least 15 to 30 minutes per day. For me, picking up my guitar often quickly solves a mood problem.
- If your mood tends to swing up and down during the day, it might help to keep a journal. Make a mental note of when your mood changes, and write down what might have changed your mood. After a while, patterns will appear. When the mind gets into a negative mood, it’s often hard for the mind to see what happened from an outside perspective, but if you write it down, you can start to see what is going on from an outside perspective when you go back and read it later.
If you’re feeling like your negative mood is a serious problem, it might be worth looking into getting some help with it. If you’re at school, there might be a counselor who could offer assistance.
5 Likes
Like Josh, I also don’t know the answer, but it sounds similar to what I’ve experienced when suffering depression, and another family member also went through: a feeling of almost no energy or motivation to go out and “make things happen”.
I’m not sure what works for you, but in my case I got some advice from a neuroscientist to try “behavioural activation therapy” (BAT), which meant just scheduling daily activities that helped raise my mood, which gradually gave me some energy back. He also said not to ignore negative thoughts, but accept that there’s a logical reason to feel this way and try to acknowledge those feelings and move on.
Let us know if you find something that works for you.
3 Likes
Hello, I’ve also been experiencing a problem for about five years. I feel stagnant in life, especially in my professional life.
I want to advance in my career, but I’m unsure about what I really want to do. Currently,
I’m a receptionist in an office building, but I plan to change careers, one that will give me a better return both in terms of money and quality of life.
I’m thinking about working in IT, but I feel incapable, and many voices in my head tell me I’m not cut out for it. Then I consider becoming a business administrator, but the specter of doubt and fear reappears, and with that,
I never have clarity about my goals, which leaves me stagnant, wasting time, and losing strength. Could someone help me with some tips
to deal with these frustrations?
4 Likes
To sum it up:
- You’re thinking about leaving your current job for something that pays better and offers a better lifestyle.
- You’re torn between different career options, like going into IT or becoming a business administrator.
- But you’re not entirely sure if your goal is actually doable.
First of all I want to say this: believing in yourself can significantly increase your chances of achieving your goals and helps fuel the motivation needed to take consistent action. However, belief alone isn’t always enough to guarantee success. For example, touching a hot stove will still result in a burn, even if you strongly believe otherwise. I have to be honest: I don’t think anyone can guarantee you success without knowing you personally. Is it then hopeless? I don’t think it necessarily is.
In fact, the very act of questioning your path, wanting more, and seeking advice shows something: you still care. And that matters more than you might realize. Stagnation often begins when people stop asking questions or feeling dissatisfied. You haven’t given up. You’re just at a turning point with no clear direction.
The truth is, no one knows exactly how their career will turn out, not even those who seem “successful”. Most people don’t follow straight lines. They pivot, stumble, try new things, fail, and keep going. The most important is action, however small, taken consistently.
So instead of asking “Will this work?” try asking “What’s one thing I can do today to get closer to finding out?”
Let me offer a few suggestions that might help:
1. Clarify what you do want (not just what you don’t)
You know you want more money and a better quality of life. Awesome starting point. But think about it more:
- What kind of work environment do you THRIVE in?
- Do you prefer structured tasks or creative problem-solving?
- Are you energized by working with people, data, systems, or ideas?
Try noting down or journaling for 10 minutes a day answering questions like these. Over time, patterns will come up that can guide your decision. These insights can help rule things in or out based on what truly fits you, not just what sounds good on paper.
2. Test the waters before diving in
You don’t need to quit your job or commit to a degree right away. Start small and explore at your own pace.
If IT interests you, try free online courses on platforms like freeCodeCamp, Coursera, or Khan Academy. Even 20 to 30 minutes a day can help you build momentum.
Look for beginner-friendly YouTube tutorials by searching things like “introduction to coding”, “how to start in IT”, or “beginner Python tutorial” Many creators offer clear, step by step lessons that require no prior experience and are easy to follow.
You might also consider reading introductory coding or IT books. Plenty of these are available as free pdfs online. A simple search can lead you to well-written resources that explain concepts in a way that’s easy to understand.
As you learn, try building small personal projects, like a basic website, a simple calculator, or even a document where you track what you’ve learned. These activities can give you a feel for the kind of work involved and help you discover whether it truly engages you.
The goal is not to master everything at once. It’s to gain real experience so you can answer an important question: Does this path feel like something I could see myself doing?
Give yourself permission to explore without pressure. You’re not making a final decision. You’re simply taking small steps to gain clarity and build confidence over time.
3. Challenge your inner critic
You might hear a voice ATTEMPTING to make statements such as: “money is difficult” or “I’m not cut out for this”. That’s your inner critic talking. It can sometimes be loud, but it’s not always truthful. Try writing down what it says, then ask yourself:
- Is this based on facts or fear?
- Have I ever learned something difficult before? (spoiler: yes, you likely did)
- What would I tell to a friend who said this about themselves?
Self-doubt can disappear when we shine a light on it.
So, I hope these three points will somewhat help you. And remember: you don’t need clarity on the entire path. Just being aware of the next small step will help you a lot. You can decide to research one certification today, tomorrow, you might try talking to or emailing someone working in IT. The key is consistency, not speed.
Every expert was once a beginner. Every career change starts in the dark.
I believe you can do it!
3 Likes
It’s better not to lie and try to hide what’s going on with you. There’s no real quick fix for a mental breakdown (what I suspect is going on), depression, or other issues. Whether or not people can figure out exactly what the issue is, they will certainly notice your irritability and that will drive them away.
Josh was on the right track suggesting a school counsellor, but if that’s not an option there’s a good chance there are other community resources. Check the website for your local hospital, welfare center, or other local government sites. You could talk to your family doctor, or do a search for your “mental health (your city name)”, or state/province/country mental health helpline.
At least here in Canada community oriented centres network with each other so they can get people where they need to be. If they don’t have relevant pamphlets sitting around, they tend to know what direction to point you in. So if you’re close to something you could stop in and ask.
Whether or not you go to your family doctor first, I’d recommend getting a checkup. Even if the issue isn’t caused by a physical ailment, there could be a physical component to it. Inflammation makes all my issues worse. Too much mould or smoke will make me every bit as irritable as you describe. So even if you end up feeling better before deciding to seek help in person, still check in with your doctor.
My personal advice is to leave any medication off the table, reserving it only as a last resort. Self medication is never worth it in the long run, even if it does “help” for now, sooner than later it’ll compound the problem. Personally I’ve only done that with smoking, it really was an effective way to deal with stress until it stopped doing that and just left me with an expensive and harmful habit to break. I’ve watched drugs and alcohol ruin several lives, some because they were partiers, most because it was self medicating.
SSRI’s and similar are often the first thing they want to try, and they shouldn’t be. They really mess with you, and it’s really not worth finding out if you’re among the small percentage a life time prescription is effective for before exhausting other options.
I’ve tried an SNRI before. It “worked” in that it put a barrier between my thoughts and feelings and a very motivationless version of myself. If you’ve ever been in a situation where you can tell your body is hungry but you don’t feel the impact of it; the desire to eat, it’s like that.
Spending literal hours bored staring at the ceiling, bored yet not caring, and the brain zaps were bad enough. What really made me throw them out and decide to never try another form of medication again was the suicidal thoughts, the only ones I’ve ever had in my life. I deal with chronic depression and social anxiety. The former doesn’t necessarily involve suicidal ideation or intention at all. (un)Surprisingly there’s still a debate as to whether or not antidepressants can cause suicide.
3 Likes
I find it most useful to acknowledge the negative thoughts. They aren’t lies, and they aren’t wrong, but they aren’t the full picture. Then, meet them with the alternative you want to focus on more.
You aren’t cut out of IT because you haven’t put in the work to become cut out for it yet!
IT is a skillset that takes some time to develop, experience to hone, and a lifetime to master. It would have been great if you started five years ago, but that’s ok. You can forgive yourself and start today, and in five years it’ll be great that you had.
3 Likes
What kind of IT are you interested in? (I think the term means different things in different countries.)
Impostor syndrome is very common in the tech industry, and feeling like “I’m not cut out for it” is normal.
I think the best way to make progress is to do at least a little studying each day. It’s easy to get stuck in perpetual thinking about doing something or analyzing how to do it, when the best thing is to just start practicing it. In tech, it’s important to actually practice the skills (as opposed to doing endless tutorials/courses/books without any practice, because that can lead to a state called “tutorial hell”).
3 Likes
I’ve been going through something similar recently, what I can tell you is: just take some time, a pause, not books, not social media, not anything. Just be with your people, try to talk and go for walks. Be with yourself, nothing really matters if you are not okay.
Everything what we do, the reason that you are here, in this forum is probably because you’re a person who loves learning, who loves understanding beyond. But, hey guy, you need to remember your nature, our nature, we are humans, we need people, we need time to reflect on our own life, we need to take breaks.
Just stop, and with some time you are going to feel curious and energized again.
Become a buddhist monk