Emotional memory palace for confidence?

This is a long post, so sorry in advance. I’m quite new to mnemonics and I’m constantly finding out new stuff about it. This my first post.

A problem for me has always been nervousness during public speaking. Like oral presentations and such. Since we started having oral presentations more frequently in school 3 - 4 four years ago, I discovered that I tend to always act insecure and stiff when put in front of an audience. In the beginning I was actually quite insecure and scared during public speaking.

but with the help of this ted talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc by Amy Cuddy I realized it was just a confidence issue. With Mnemonics as my secret weapon I can now look 10 times more confident, since I don’t need any notes. «The power postures» and the «alpha male» attitude that Amy proposes during the talk really help. Now I’m not afraid to go and speak in front of an audience anymore.

My problem is that my body doesn’t seem to agree. I always shake a bit and my voice is usually filled with nerves making my speech slightly jagged (especially within the first minutes of going onstage). My body language isn’t great, as I tend to fiddle around with my fingers and/or sometimes whatever object I’m holding.

I’ve heard and read that this will go away with time and experience, and it has to a big extent been improving over the years. I generally don’t seem so nervous talking in front of audiences anymore. The shaking is really annoying though.
I try to tell my body to just relax, but it doesn’t usually work. I have to spend about 5 - 10 minutes standing in front of my audience before my body and mind is fully relaxed.

I have found that I act more confidently when I visualize powerful and confident people calming me down during my time on stage. I had been doing this subconsciously for a long time. Even before I discovered mnemonics.

This subconscious technique have been on my mind ever since i read I read this Forum post by Bateman: regarding emotional memory palaces.
A sort of victory room for people who suffer from depression or for when you’re feeling down, lonely or in need of positive thinking.

A collection of situations where you were proud of your achievements, when you did well, dared to take a risk and to help those in need. You can put your idols there, speeches from powerful people or just generally motivating memories.

This is an intriguing concept for me, which I wish too further explore. I’m thinking of making a big palace with a lot of different types of positive reminders placed on each locus. I would for example put people who I consider to be powerful and confident all around my «confidence kingdom» (<— I’m coining that term).
Like for example Jimi Hendrix burning his guitar at Monterey, one of Ali Mohammed’s interviews, Jim Morrison at the Ed Sullivan show, or of course Eric Thomas’s speech, which Bateman linked too in the forum post (thanks by the way).

My goal is to familiarize myself to these occasions and memories, to the point where they are in some ways surrounding me while I’m on stage. Reassuring me that I’m doing a great job, and giving me compliments whenever I need it. I want to feel like I’m one of them.

This clip from harry potter illustrates what I have in mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwa-CVAcsT0
(starts at about the 2 minutes mark)

Have anyone of you tried making one of these palaces?

Do they work?

Do you have any new tips?

Now that I’m writing this, I realize I’m mostly repeating the questions brought up in Bateman’s forum post. Anyways, an update from other people who are experimenting with these ideas this would be great. Any thoughts will be much appreciated.

*note: fixed your links.

Glad you’ve read the post and thought of it :smiley:

I’ve recently(2 days ago) started reading a book, called “A New Rational Guide To Living”, upon recommendation by someone. Definitely a top 10 book(for me). #1 Book for emotions. I highly recommend it. My notes for the first 2-3 chapters:
"People can live the most self-fulfilling, creative and emotionally satisfying lives by disciplining their thinking.

Human emotions don’t just magically appear from unconscious desires; rather, they almost always stem from ideas, thoughts, beliefs and attitudes, and can be change by altering the thinking process.

Rational thinking is thinking that:

  1. Bases itself on objective fact, not subjective opinion.
    2)If acted upon, will result in preservation of life and limb
    3)If acted upon, produces your personal life goals most quickly
    4)If acted upon, prevents undesirable personal or environmental conflict
    5)Minimizes your inner conflicts and turmoil."

Even this doesn’t do it justice though. Basically; before you feel an emotion, you tell yourself a story, ie: "This person is SUCH an *******, He’s COMPLETELY WRONG, and his wife… " Et cetera. This causes you to feel emotion. There is a window of time when you ‘feel’ the thoughts coming, you know what emotion they will induce, and you can stop or alter them. There are healthy emotional responses to stimuli, and there are unhealthy responses to stimuli.

To stop something like stage fright, you would tell yourself that you’ve done this hundreds of times, the audience will laugh, be happy, you’re going to teach them valuable information, etc. Again, I recommend the book.

I’ve actually since that time done a complete 180 on Erik Thomas, speeches, and motivation in general. This post linked to this book, I would recommend it. Basically, and I’ve found this true in my own life, teach yourself to act even when you ‘don’t feel like it’. ‘Pump’ motivation, like ‘WOO! I FEEL SO GOOD’ is useless. It doesn’t teach you anything, has nothing actionable about it. You just ‘feel good’ for 5 minutes. Instead, you should form habits that you do every day, no matter what. When you’re going towards a goal, you keep gaining motivation with each step. This is another fantastic post(a guide to motivation).

I’ve since then(never wrote about this) switched to a different ‘motivation palace’. One that holds all my values as a human being. Basically, the truths that I accept deep down. If I’m ever unsure of a decision, or what to do, I return to them. They hold me steady. It’s a fantastic technique. Here is a podcast on it. Notes:

"Summary: Values are what you live everyday. Your values become your standards.
If you don’t have values, you don’t have standards. You float through the world, like a piece of garbage.
Having no values always catches up with you.

Notes:
So, how do you find you values? You look at 3 types of people.
1. Peers
Which of them are going to be successful? What traits guarantee that? Which of them are going to end up in jail? What traits guarantee that? What values do they live?
Pick a couple people, and pick one thing about them that stands out. Decide which values you are going to adopt.
2. Aspirational people.
What are they doing? Why? What values do they exhibit?
3. Scumbags
You look beneath you. What values do these people have? Look at those values, and they become your standards, because you will not be like them.

The work is on you. Who are the peers that you admire? Who are the people you aspire to become? Who are the scumbags? What are their values?

Which ones do I want to live, and why?"

Anyway, great post, thanks for starting it. Hope I didn’t steal your thunder.

Best,

Bateman

Thanks Bateman, that cleared up a whole lot of stuff in a short amount of text. I’ll add “A New Rational Guide To Living”
to my bookshelf, or rather, on the stacks of books i’m actually going to read. Thanks for the tips. I’ll update you my motivational journey (not in a “method of loci” sense) as the time passes by.