Possibly related Brain resisting memory training
I was not always like this, so this is why this question bothers me. Learning something new, and especially memorizing something new, causes me psychological pain that puts me on edge. Whenever I have to learn or memorize something new for this reason or that, it is not the usual “I just have to spend my time on it that I would otherwise dedicate to something else”, it is more like “I just have to suffer through another series of agonizing learning sessions”. It goes beyond simply being lazy, actually spending time memorizing/learning makes me gradually build up tension, it affects my behavior and overall functioning and at the end of the days kills off whatever interest I might have had in learning anything.
I just leave this post here in hopes that maybe somebody who experienced something similar chimes in and adds some insight or other information.
You are correct, writing this post is another form of postponing actually having to study.