Oh, thank you, I’m really enjoying the conversation. It’s also a good opportunity to work on my English writing skills, since I don’t have a lot of chances to do it, so…
Same here, though I should be doing plenty of other things
I don’t think either that there is any difference in the brain regarding sex, gender or whatever, and really hope I didn’t bother you with the question. As I said, is just curiosity, I really like to know the people I’m “talking” to, hahaha, even your face and voice would be lovely to know, but that’s just who I am. I’m totally comfortable addressing you as blablaqdra, though, no worries.
No it’s fine - I on the other hand hate sharing personal details or being ‘identified’ in any other way than is absolutely necessary. This has nothing to do with the internet - I’m also like that among my usual surroundings. There might be a connection with my issues of actually remembering people/actors and not just names/abstract concepts.
It has funny implications though, because sometimes, I remember (it feels like coincidence) strange things or make connections, others don’t really arrive at in the way I do. Sometimes I feel clever about this, but mostly stupid, because I know, that I did not arrive there ‘how you should have’. That actually describes most of my life up to now. Together with my (next to futile) attempts, to change that and become an ‘orderly’ person who does things the way they are ‘supposed’ to be done.
So now you know who you are talking to
Who am I talking to?
You know, I had the same problem, at least to a degree. For example, my 65 is the Great Sphinx, and even though I have a reasonable memory of the “building”, it costed me a lot to visualize it more concretely, so I found a “cartoon” of the sphinx and added it to a new card, just to fixate it in my mind, and worked perfectly. The same happened with a lot of other numbers. I find that having a concrete, colorful image to refer to helps me immensely (I had to find a Martin Luther King color photo too, for example), so I made various cars for the Ps I didn’t had a strong visual memory of. Definitely suggest you try that (those are different cards, by the way, I make them “Basic and reversed” and put them in a different deck, called Visual Dictionary, where I also store characters for abstract concepts to use in my memory palaces/guardians).
To give you an idea, of how extreme my difficulties really are, I thought I look at the statistics from anki I started some days ago (after you told me). Bear in mind: I made the PAO months ago and had phases where I kept reviewing it daily, for whole days. I put hundreds of hours in there. So, after all this work, the most interesting number I find is this: 36% of the time, I could not answer the pao correctly and 38% of the time, I somehow did it partly and very slowly. So from all my efforts, just around 26% of the PAO stuck. And we are talking about 110 figures, that consist of people, actions and objects I chose deliberately, because they somehow resonate with me.
Now if I move this idea to the rest I’m supposed to be learning (and which is a work-load you can imagine as consisting of around 12000 (or whatever crazy number, it’s a rough estimate of the amount of bags I stuffed with paper) pages I need to ‘know’ and of around 400 pages I need to be able to reproduce right away and 100% correctly), it might become apparent, why I still dabble around with just ‘studying’ instead of moving everything into srs. The act of ‘learning things by heart’ is not what I should actually be doing, but a mere part - so every minute, I invest into building additional databases (of which I have an incredible amount of in paper an electronically) is lost time on actually progressing, that might never pay off.
The main reason I restarted this PAO in all earnesty, is, because I wanted to really try it out one last time, before deciding, that I simply am not made for this type of learning (or any type of learning by heart) and that I need to quit activities that require it.
I implemented this picture approach (which again required 1 or 2 days) and it helped. It was not magic and there are still people I barely remember or not at all (even after the 50th time I see them), but it is a little better.
Thanks for the idea with ‘reversed’. If I find another day or two, I will implement that as well. But I really should start working on my actual material, or I will be in hell’s kitchen again.
I think there is no better way to actively review the information than with SRS, it doesn’t matter if it is memorized by rote or with mnemonics/memory palaces. Of course it has a cost so you need to evaluate if it’s worth it for you. For me it’s been a game-changer.
Don’t think I would not see the value of srs - I simply refrain from using it outside from core-concept, because I don’t have the time to copy everything I need to a database. Knowing concepts is only around 10% of the actual work. If you don’t know them, you can pack your bags though.
I totally understand, it happened to my too with the books I’d read, sometimes I could barely recall if I had already read some book (when enough time had passed, say years, obviously). That’s where the magic of the algorithm comes so handy, it tells you when you need to recall the information so you don’t loose the access to it.
Well - are you typing up whole books into anki? I do keep notes of books, but I usually never review them. I started around 30 books, some of them with more notes, some of them with less. Some in word, some in pages, some in other note programs, some written into directly. I will place the books that I find really important though in a place I can see them - which makes me recall certain information. I also keep journals about important things I (re-)arrive at, so that there is a minimum of concepts constantly being kept ‘afloat’ in my mind. Of course this is rather a hapharzard way of doing things, but it’s probably better than doing nothing. For more, I simply don’t have the time (or energy). There are periods of unforseen difficulties, where I cannot just keep to my original schedule. So most of my things are organised around the concept of ‘simple’ but ‘works every time’. This comes at great costs of quality and precision (and time), but -again- it is probably better doing something badly, than not at all.
I’m seeing you are tired of not getting the outcomes you desire, even while putting so much effort into it, and I’m guessing you would like it to be easier. I can totally relate, and I’m sorry you are having a hard time with it.
It pains me to read that you are maybe afraid of being stupid or disabled (whatever that means), and I would love for you to know that you are immensely capable, as we all are. It does seem that you work really hard! It’s totally normal to find obstacles in the way, but with your dedication and your willingness to find new paths I feel a lot of confidence that you will get so much better!
No, I’m not at all getting what I want out of my efforts, quite on the contrary. But I also know, that it is of no use beating myself up over it. So I try to continue improving, retrying things (like that PAO and palaces in general) and keeping my life organised as well as possible - even if it remains a rather big and not understandable chaos to outsiders.
Thanks for being so nice and putting in effort! In my usual environment, it is next to impossible to find collaboration. Especially, when it comes to output. People will put in hours just to seem to be doing something completely else of what they actually are doing. The talk is always very casual, but the unspoken devaluation of everyone not on par is a reality.
Well I don’t know if it’s worth it - but I’ve been trying to accomplish something since I can remember and every time I’m fed up and wish I’d never done anything to even try, I arrive at the conclusion, that I don’t care how futile it must look to my environment. I’m happy to say, that I found some solace in the thought of having only one life to accomplish whatever one finds important and that it is absolutely nobody elses’ business to meddle around in it. I cannot hide from reality and time though and it is getting hard to be taken seriously. It always is, if you’re not doing, what everybody else is doing (even if you wanted to do so, but somehow just could not).
Honestly I don’t think my memory is exceptional at any extent! I spent so many years thinking my memory was absolute trash, hahahaha. A lot like you, I’ve always leaned to the “understanding” side of learning, but felt very frustrated on the more factual remembering, not to speak of the everyday memory (birthdays, commitments, things people told me…).
I think I’ve been very lucky in finding inspiration and resources, and finding the time and the willingness in me to try things out. I have tried a lot of techniques and I’ve found a few that works really good for me, but I do believe I’m just in the beginning of my memory journey. So, that’s it, I hope it somehow helps. Wish you the very best of journeys, and please let me know how it goes!
P.S. And thanks for the encouragement for the Guardians post, it really helps. I will tag you when it’s out to read your thoughts, hopefully
Yes. So much. And I bet you randomly remember things you did not even know you still knew.
It’s funny - it’s exactly, what I see in this whole PAO thing on a small scale. I try to recall 72, and nothing will come, but K and N, which are the two constants (imagine, how I hate not remembering my PAO with numbers like 6 or 1 - those are the ones really nagging me, because they could be several things). I will though absolutely remember 73, even, if I don’t need it at all and even though I made absolutely sure not to have any connection in between the various PAO I use for the Numbers. I might also remember 27 (N K), but absolutely not 72. I will also have new ideas for K and N, which I never arrived at before - but that I already described.
And this is supposed to be the simple part. That is why I feel disabled and stupid. After years of investments in learning and studying, I still have not figured out how I can achieve true success and I am about to definitely sink a ship I should be sailing on as a ‘surefire’ thing. Not sinking a ‘chance’ ship. But a ship, that should be ‘no problem’. Because of my bad memory and organizational skills I probably did more for than most if not all of my peers (and which is one of the reasons, why I am getting older than most and can allow even less space for failure).
So this kind of got out of my hands. I wanted to properly answer, not blow this out of proportion! But that is how I do things. You might understand now.
Please tag me in! I’m always interested in broadening my horizon. Perhaps one day, I might find a way I can use to my own contentment and which does not involve wasting years of work nobody understands, let alone credits.