Post here the best jokes, comedy videos/movies/books/etc you know.
1. The world’s funniest joke
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”
2. Watson and Holmes go camping
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.”
“Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.”
“Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.”
“Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.”
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”
“What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
A short joke told in Estonia:
3. Virgin grandmother
(maybe it’s not so effective in English)
Some Estonian jokes:
4. Four nuns and Saint Peter
Four nuns go to heaven. At the gates St.Peter stops them. He asks from the first nun: “Have you ever sinned during your lifetime?” The nun admits that she once touched a monk’s penis with her fingertip. Peter tolds the nun to stick her finger into the holy pool and then lets her enter the heaven. He asks the same question from the second nun. She admits that she indeed did hold a monk’s cock in her hand. Peter tolds the second nun to wash her hand in the pool, lets her in too and then turns to the third nun. But before Peter could start asking the question from her, the fourth one pushes her away and interrupts with a categoric voice: “I won’t take a drop of that water in my mouth after that nun starts washing her asshole in it!”
5. Hedgehog and Elk
Hedgehog runs moaning around a tree: “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!”. Elk jumps out of the bush and demands: “What are you ‘Oh yeah’-ing here?”. Hedgehog replies: "Do some cicles around the tree yourself and you’ll understand instantly. Elk runs couple of times around the tree but still doesn’t get it. He says: “I don’t feel any ‘Oh yeah’, what’s the ‘Oh yeah’ anyway?”. “‘Oh yeah’ is when the grass rubs against your balls.”
I’m going to finish here, I don’t want to go too dirty!
Here are my favourite Youtube channels that make funny videos:
- How it should have ended - makes hilarious alternate endings to movies
- Honest Trailers - funny self-made trailers to movies
- Darkmatter2525 - an atheist whose videos are really funny and sophiscated at the same time (thanks to him I will never believe in god)
- CollegeHumor - mostly jokes about college students' sex life
- CatapultFilms - The funniest Estonian videos (a lot have eng subs too, or you can let youtube translate if it has estonian subs)
Some of my favourite comedy movies:
- The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
- Kung Fu Panda (2008)
- Scary Movie 1, 2, 3 and 4
- Pain&Gain (2013)
- Let's Be Cops (2014)
My favourite hilarious book:
- Don Quixote (1605, 1615) - A mad Spanish lord and his underling half-witted farmer decide to become a legendary pair of knight and squire and go on a mission of bringing justice to the world with their epic deeds
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